Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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