Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
