angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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