She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
