i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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