Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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