yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
