you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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