Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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