god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
