Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize