Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
