Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
