i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize