so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
