Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
