i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
