this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
