So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
