I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
