That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
