That's intense
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
