PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Every concussion has its silver lining
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
