its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize