All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Found the puke drawer
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
