yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
This can only be settled by a dance off.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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