Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
