I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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