My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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