So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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