Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
