Your face is a jimmy john
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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