we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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