Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
