there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
