Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
