Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
