my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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