I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
