South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
