i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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