Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
