Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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