oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
