You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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