I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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