whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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