we have pet lesbian snakes
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
