i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
