So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
