3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
