there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I party with great urgency now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
