how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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