I just saw a hot homeless man
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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