id be glad to
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
