Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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