Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
