But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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