I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
