On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
