i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is Oprah even human
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
