spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
