I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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