Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I would fuck him just for his dog
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
