remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize