Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
whose ass print is on the piano?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
you made out with another girl for some wings
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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