I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize