it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
