I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
