i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
