i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she pinky promised me she was 18
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
