i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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