I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
