Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
