I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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