so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
